Adding a toy to your relationship is less about the toy and more about the conversation around it. Done well, it is a fun way to try something new together. Here is how to start, and which toys are designed for two.
Starting the conversation
- Pick a relaxed moment, not the middle of an argument or right before bed when someone is tired.
- Frame it as something to add, not something missing. “I read about this and thought it could be fun for us” lands better than “we need to spice things up”.
- Browse together. Looking at options side by side makes it a shared decision.
- Agree on a first try with no pressure. If something does not click, that is useful information, not a failure.
Toy types made for couples
Wearable vibrators
Designed to stay in place during intimacy, wearables leave both partners’ hands free. Some are shaped to provide internal and external stimulation at the same time.
Remote and app-controlled toys
One partner wears the toy, the other holds the controls. App-controlled toys from brands like Lovense and We-Vibe can even be controlled from another city, which makes them popular with long-distance couples.
Vibrating rings
Worn at the base of the penis, vibrating rings add external vibration for the partner during intercourse, and can help maintain firmness for the wearer. Choose a stretchy, body-safe silicone ring, and never wear a ring for more than 20 to 30 minutes at a time.
Wands and massagers
A wand is not specifically a couples toy, but it is one of the most versatile things to share, for massage as well as pleasure.
You will find all of these in our couples toys collection and the wider for couples edit.
Practical tips
- Charge it before date night. A flat battery is a mood killer.
- Keep lube nearby. Water-based lube is compatible with nearly every toy.
- Learn the controls first. Spend a few minutes figuring out the buttons or app so you are not fumbling later.
- Check in. A simple “more?” or “less?” keeps it fun for both of you.
Keeping it clean
Wash shared toys before and after use, and if a toy is made from a porous material like TPE, use a condom over it or keep it for one person. Our cleaning guide covers each material.
